Wine Talk

Snooth User: dmcker

Best and worst names for wines and wineries

Posted by dmcker, Oct 30, 2009.

From another thread:
GregT: " Oh it makes my ears bleed. I need to go and drink a bottle of Sang de Cailloux"

Dmcker: "So what's the 'terroir' for the blood of stones? Great naming for a domaine. Too bad you can't really get away with that type of name in English. Guess we have to suffice with 'Big House' or 'Suckfizzle' or '10 Minutes by Tractor'."

GregT: "It is a great name isn't it? Those other names just don't have the same panache. Even worse - Fat Bastard? The Bitch grenache? That should be a thread - names of wines. I happen to like the Two Hands names - Angel's Share, Bad Impersonator, etc."

OK, so here's a thread on the worst and best names we've encountered for wines and wineries. To make it easier, names of beers and liquor, and photos of the worst labels, will also be accepted...

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Reply by dmcker, Oct 30, 2009.

To start the ball rolling, here are some that fall pretty much on the 'worst' side...

Some wine:
--Goats Do Roam (South Africa)
--Shingleback Shiraz (Oz)
--Cat's Pee on a Gooseberry Bush (NZ)
--Mother Cluckers Chardonnay (NZ)
--Marilyn Merlot (Napa)
--Ptomaine des Blagueurs (Santa Cruz/Southern France?)
--Horse's Ass Cab (Sonoma)
--Cleavage Creek Secret Reserve (Napa)
--Tex Zin
--Wild Boar Doe (Long Island)
--Booger Swamp (Brushy Mountain Winery, North Carolina)
--Red Chardonnay (the bottle's red, too; also from N.C.--what's going on over there?)
--Mommy's Time Out (Italy?)
--The Dog's Bollocks (house wine by a market in Calais obviously meant for those taking the ferry over from Britain--also the name of some decent Brit beer)

Some beer and rum:
--British Navy Pusser's Rum (UK)
--Entire Butt Porter (UK)
--Butcombe Bitter (UK)
--Just about all the beers put out by Butts Brewery ('Le Butts Biere', anyone?--UK)
--Aass Bock (Norway)
--Bürgerbräu Bad Reichenhall Suffikator (a premium doppelbock from Germany)
--Wasatch Polygamy Porter (Utah)

I thought anyone from Oz, Kiwiland or even certain parts of the US might have an advantage in dredging names easily, but now am thinking Brits may have a legup.

Non-English-language namings as perceived by English speakers may also have an advantage. Purposely dodged all the 'Hell' beers out of Germany since that just means 'light' in German.

Some of the above have pretty nasty labels, too (e.g. Cleavage Creek). Have some jpg images I may go to the trouble of posting later. I like the British labels that can't name the varietal because they don't fall within the list of grapes approved by the EU. Also those Welsh wines that have some small English label on the back because the main label on the front, in Welsh, isn't acceptable to the EU.

Finally, why is it that I find myself more willing to buy the funkily named beers than the gimmicky wines?

Reply by Philip James, Oct 30, 2009.

I have a bottle of Bellarine Estates Phil's Fetish Pinot Noir lying around it home - its old and cooked, but I've kept it as a decorative piece (

I'm not a fan of the quasi-offensive names such Bitch, Fat Bastard and so on, although when they are in foreign languages I'm more forgiving, for example Clos de Pise (aka Field of Piss), which is a good name for a Sauvignon Blanc. Shame its actually a Chardonnay!

The Cleavage wines ( - with pics) I thought were to do with (avoiding/researching) breast cancer, but I think its a poor choice of words. Much better are (the labels for) the Marilyn wines:

DM - I've mentioned this blog several times, its one of the most underrated wine blogs around in my opinion - all they do is point out hilarious wine label registrations: - should be able to find plenty of fodder there.

They recently had a few posts about feminist wines, with wacky labels - such as:

Reply by torchtaker, Oct 30, 2009.

I have enjoyed drinking a very affordable Ventouw wine earlier this year with the funny name Chat en Oeuf (Cat on Egg) with reference to the obviously neighboring terroir classic ending with -du Pape

Holland's largest grocer Albert Heijn sells on its website expensive burgundy's under the Mischief and Mayhem label. If this was for an Ozzy wine I might buy it, but in combination with grapes from the Cote d'Or, I find the name somehow off-putting. Not sure why... ;-)

Fat Bastard was mentioned above. I found it pretty funny, but the wine was disappointing. I saw another wine recently named The Naked Grape, which I found a funny and appealing name...

In the world of beer, like dmcker mentioned, you can find plenty of funny labels. A short list of funny Belgian and Dutch beers I have tasted:
- Delirium Tremens
- Zatte (Dutch for drunk)
- Verboden Vrucht (Forbidden Fruit)
- Dikkenek Grand Cru (Fat neck ...)
- Cuvee des Trolls
- Mort Subite
- Nog ééntje (Just ONE more)

Reply by Charles Emilio, Oct 30, 2009.

I'm a big fan of
"Chateau ver de flor"

Reply by chadrich, Oct 30, 2009.

I've always questioned the wisdom of Paso Robles' "Graveyard Vineyard"

Reply by furry55, Oct 30, 2009.

Lascaux from Langeudoc-Rousillon has a really elegant label. The reds are generally very good and whites are even better.

Reply by Gonzalita, Oct 31, 2009.

Hahahaha, "Graveyard Vineyard", that sure would be something for Halloween!

Reply by Martingauthier, Oct 31, 2009.


Sang de Cailloux (blood of stones) is not bad for Halloween as well. : )

Reply by Martingauthier, Oct 31, 2009.

What about arrogantfrog? Hilarious! Specially here in Quebec.

Reply by Gonzalita, Oct 31, 2009.

What a great name, I like it and havehavehave to try that wine! Will check if it's possible to find it over here.

Reply by dmcker, Oct 31, 2009.

Some more cool (or not) names for wineries. Marketing is a bizarre menagerie of a science that seems to blur borders between flora and fauna. Also seems like frogs are one of the more popular critters, so maybe I'm in the minority in not wanting clammy, oozy, secreting wines....

--Frog's Piss French Red Wine (also an own label by a Calais booze cruise store, so maybe we should call this British)
--True Frogs Lily Pad Red (Calaveras County, CA)
--Stumpy Gulley Winery (Oz)
--Kings of Kangaroo Ground (Oz)
--Tall Poppy Wines (Oz, maybe even the movie version--wonder if you nod off after drinking)
--Megalomaniac Wine (Ontario, with offerings like Narcissist Riesling, My Way Chardonnay, Pink Slip Pinot Noir Rose, Bravado Cabernet Sauvignon, SonOfaBitch and Doggone SonOfaBitch Pinot Noir, Vainglorious Cabernet Merlot, Bigmouth Merlot, and Coldhearted Cabernet Franc Icewine)
--Stompytoe from Senile Farms Winery (Arkansas)
--Vino El Pavo Substandard American Grape Wine (Florida ; pavo is 'turkey' in Spanish; 'certified color added, 16% alcohol by volume')
--Big Ass RED Tablewine (Hopland, CA)
--Moral Compass (Napa; kinda like this one ;-) )
--Oops ('cheeky little red, lost grape of Bordeaux discovered in Chile masquerading as a Merlot')
--Recall Red (Mendocino; came out shortly after Schwartzenegger became governor)
--Harper Hill White Trash White (chardonnay from Bakersfield...)
--Redneck Red (also Bakersfield)
--Hair of the Dingo (semillon/chardonnay from Oz)
--Flying Pig (Sicily; 'We think you stand more chance of seeing a flying pig than a better wine at this price')
--'YN' (CA)
--Sonoma Beach Zinfandel (Stu Pedasso Cellars)
--Coat Roti (South Africa, with a picture of a leaping goat on the label)

OK, enough frivolous use of time for me for now. Plenty more out there, though. Maybe some from the Western Cape of South Africa, next time I post...

For any critter in a name or otherwise on a wine label, from Aardvark to Zebra, check out

Reply by fibo86, Nov 3, 2009.

Some of my favorites
Laughing Maggpie- D'Arenberg shiraz viognier,
Leaping Lizzard- Margeret river Cab,
Squid Ink -The Associates Shiraz,
Graveyard- Brokenwood Shiraz
Dead Letter Shiraz Forget the producer
Devils Lair-Devils Lair Cab/Merlot
Barking Owl Name of producer and wine Shiraz/viognier
Black Chook Shiraz/viognier
Two in the Bush-Bird in Hand Shiraz
Duck Muck-Wild Duck Creek Rose,

Reply by D9sus4, Nov 3, 2009.

Single-Wide or Double-Wide IPA (Boulevard Brewing, Kansas City)

Ten Bucks Sparkling Wine {which costs $12} (Mt.Pleasant Winery, Missouri)

Reply by Simon Woods, Nov 4, 2009.

Manga del Brujo - but you have to be up on your Spanish and have knowledge of Roger's Profanisaurus to understand this one.

Reply by ChipDWood, Nov 4, 2009.

5) Anything Sine Qua Non
4) "Carnival of Love", Mollydooker
3) "Dolce" The whole package is sound, from Far Nient.
2) Chateau Margaux. Or, Margaux, Margaux, which says it all.
1) "Maya" from Dalla Valle Vineyards.

... Anything German.

Reply by ChipDWood, Nov 4, 2009.

Oh! I forgot about "Clos de Mouches", from Joseph Drouhin.

Mouches = Flies.

So, "vineyard of the flies", of sorts.


Reply by Degrandcru, Nov 5, 2009.

I prefer it simple, the best name for a winery and the wine in my opinion is the name of the family (or founder) that makes the wine. I like it when a french winery is called "... et fils" or of course the house "Chateau...". Gives me a feeling of tradition and consistency.
I don´t like any fancy made up marketing names.

Reply by TerriF, Nov 7, 2009.

Alexandria Nicole 2006 The Girl Next Door 'Roll in the Hay Chardonnay" Well, I think that it is funny :)))

Reply by dmcker, Apr 13, 2010.

From Dr. Vino:

Actor Gedde Watanabe, best known for his role as Long Duk Dong in the 1984 film Sixteen Candles, is the latest to introduce a celebrity wine. “After trying to bury this character for inappropriate stereotypes for nearly three decades, I’ve decided to cash in,” he said. His Chateau Longuedoc Dong will be released this spring . The syrah will have the line “Oh sexy, girlfriend!” on the label; the Pinot will say “No more yanky my wanky!”

Reply by hhotdog, Apr 13, 2010.

ok...for some reason or an other i hate to admit it ...degrandcru has it it right!?  i gotta admit how funny it is to see the goofy names on those other bottles though!!

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