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Cisco Wine Cooler

Member Review by Nigga Noze:

No matter how you cut it Cisco is good stiff., The FTC's complaint against New York-based Canandaigua claims that the color and shape of the Cisco bottle resembles that of other low-alcohol, single-serving beverages such as wine coolers. (Beverages are considered "low-alcohol" if they contain less than 7 percent alcohol.) Also, the complaint alleges, the colors and flavors in which Cisco comes are similar to the colors and flavors of many wine coolers. Promotional materials for Cisco suggest that it be sold alongside similar bottles, according to the complaint, which cites language in those materials such as, "[Cisco] comes packaged in distinctive cooler-style bottles . . .," and, "The key to selling Cisco is proper cold box storage." The FTC complaint further charges that advertisements imply that a bottle of Cisco can be consumed as a single serving. In fact, Cisco is three to five times as potent as low-alcohol, single-serving beverages. One of the ads cited in the FTC complaint -- a poster displayed in stores selling Cisco -- shows a model holding and about to consume the contents of an opened, full, 12.7 ounce bottle of Cisco. In sum, the FTC complaint says, the packaging, marketing, and advertising of Cisco represent that it is a low-alcohol product that consumers can drink in quantities similar to other low-alcohol products without increased risk of injury. In fact, the complaint charges, these representations are deceptive because Cisco is neither a wine cooler nor a low-alcohol, single- serving beverage, but rather a 20 percent alcohol product that is three to five times as potent as low-alcohol beverages. Further, consumption of Cisco has resulted in consumer injury, the complaint alleges.

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Member Reviews for Cisco Wine Cooler

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Snooth User: Nigga Noze
3426824
0.00 5
12/31/2009

No matter how you cut it Cisco is good stiff., The FTC's complaint against New York-based Canandaigua claims that the color and shape of the Cisco bottle resembles that of other low-alcohol, single-serving beverages such as wine coolers. (Beverages are considered "low-alcohol" if they contain less than 7 percent alcohol.) Also, the complaint alleges, the colors and flavors in which Cisco comes are similar to the colors and flavors of many wine coolers. Promotional materials for Cisco suggest that it be sold alongside similar bottles, according to the complaint, which cites language in those materials such as, "[Cisco] comes packaged in distinctive cooler-style bottles . . .," and, "The key to selling Cisco is proper cold box storage." The FTC complaint further charges that advertisements imply that a bottle of Cisco can be consumed as a single serving. In fact, Cisco is three to five times as potent as low-alcohol, single-serving beverages. One of the ads cited in the FTC complaint -- a poster displayed in stores selling Cisco -- shows a model holding and about to consume the contents of an opened, full, 12.7 ounce bottle of Cisco. In sum, the FTC complaint says, the packaging, marketing, and advertising of Cisco represent that it is a low-alcohol product that consumers can drink in quantities similar to other low-alcohol products without increased risk of injury. In fact, the complaint charges, these representations are deceptive because Cisco is neither a wine cooler nor a low-alcohol, single- serving beverage, but rather a 20 percent alcohol product that is three to five times as potent as low-alcohol beverages. Further, consumption of Cisco has resulted in consumer injury, the complaint alleges.


Snooth User: Nigga Noze
3426824
0.00 5
12/31/2009

As pictured to the left, look for the pigeon feces and you'll find this old bird. As soon as you taste this swill, it will be obvious that its makers cut every corner possible in its production to make it cheap. Self-proclaimed as "The American Classic," Thuderbird is Vinted and bottled by E&J Gallo Winery, in in Modesto, CA. Disguised like Night Train, the label says that it is made by "Thunderbird, Ltd." If your taste buds are shot, and you need to get trashed with a quickness, then "T-bird" is the drink for you. Or, if you like to smell your hand after pumping gas, look no further than Thunderbird. As you drink on, the bird soars higher while you sink lower. The undisputed leader of the five in foulness of flavor, we highly discourage driking this ghastly mixture of unknown chemicals unless you really are a bum. A convenience store clerk in Show Low, AZ once told me that only the oldest of stumbling indian drunks from the reservation buy Thunderbird. Avaliable in 750 mL and a devastating 50 oz jug. The history of Thunderbird is as interesting as the drunken effects the one experiences from the wine. When Prohibition ended, Ernest Gallo and his brothers Julio and Joe wanted to corner the young wine market. Earnest wanted the company to become "the Campbell Soup company of the wine industry" so he started selling Thunderbird in the ghettos around the country. Their radio adds featured a song that sang, "What's the word? / Thunderbird / How's it sold? / Good and cold / What's the jive? / Bird's alive / What's the price? / Thirty twice." It is said that Ernest once drove through a tough, inner city neighborhood and pulled over when he saw a bum. When Gallo rolled down his window and called out, "What's the word?" the immediate answer from the bum was, "Thunderbird." WARNING: This light yellow liquid turns your lips and mouth black! A mysterious chemical reaction similar to disappearing-reappearing ink makes you look like you've been chewing on hearty clumps of charcoal.

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Thunderbird

Snooth User: Nigga Noze
3426824
0.00 5
12/31/2009

OBAMA Night Train Express 17.5% alc. by vol. Don't let the 0.5% less alcohol by volume fool you, the Night Train is all business when it pulls into the station. All aboard to nowhere - woo wooo! The night train runs only one route: sober to stupid with no roundtrip tickets available, and a strong liklihood of a train wreck along the way. This trainyard favorite is vinted and bottled by E&J Gallo Winery, in in Modesto, CA. Don't bother looking on their web page, because they dare not mention it there. As a clever disguise, the label says that it is made by "Night Train Limited." Some suspect that Night Train is really just Thunderbird with some Kool-Aid-like substance added to try to mask the Clorox flavor. Some of our researchers indicated that it gave them a NyQuil-like drowsiness, and perhaps this is why they put "night" in the name. The picture (above right) shows that the subject that drank Night Train is down for the count, while the Cisco guzzling subject is ready to rock. Guaranteed to tickle your innards.



<p>Known for causing more mental discomfort than the cheapest tequila, it actually has a warning on the bottle. Not a wine cooler, this wine is only for drinkers who think they can tame the beast.</p>


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